Tuesday, April 4

The ultimate spam email 


I've been online since the era of 300-baud modems, CompuServe, and QLink (remember that one?). I've waded through literally hundreds of thousands of emails, and many of those were spam.

My mailbox is filled daily with spam that's trying to fake me out, paypal me, Ebay me, credit card suspend me, improve my sex life, verify my accounts, save me money on vacations, refill my toner, enlarge my manhood, my breasts, and anything else they can think of enlarging, shrink my gut, slim my thighs, and otherwise shave pounds off my anatomy, sell me my sought-after Ph.D. for as little as $295, and ask for my personal help straightening out the finances of various cabinet heads in Zaire, Zambia, Mozambique, and many other third-world countries containing the letter "z."

I've come to appreciate the art and science and creativity of spam. I appreciate it's spirit of twisted entrepreneurship-meets-desperation-meets-stupidity-meets-opportunity-meets-PT Barnum-meets-trial-error-experimentation-and-success.

But this one beats them all. Just brilliant. Pure and simple. Read its elegance. Admire its non-chalance. Observe it's helpful tone. Notice it's come-hither urls. It even managed to land in my main inbox, not my bulk folder. Spam doesn't get much more elegant than this:

From: "Barbara Carey"
To: Undisclosed-Recipient@,
Subject: server down
Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2006 14:36:55 -0700

My server has been down for the past 5 days. If you have sent me an email on my barbarac@akasha-group.com address please resend it. Also, check out our new site www.vendPINK.com

Thank you.
Barbara Carey
Akasha Group
tel: 925. 254. 0921
fax: 925. 254. 4810

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